((((((Debbie))))))) The three kitties we now have are actually a very NEW family!! I can empathize with you - where you are. Several years back - we had two geriatric kitties, Bert and Ernie. Bert had cancer and Ernie had kidney failure. They were 16 and 17. Both had grown old as our children grew up. It hurt to see them failing - but as I work with elderly - the way I see it is natural I guess. I loved to help them do the things they needed help with like jumping up to the bed or couch. I carried them around more than before. I took lots of pictures but wish I had taken more!! It is sad and hard to watch - but I had to keep reminding myself of all the happy years they had. First, Bert started to outwardly show signs of pain, the tumor was rather large - so I got Missy out of school and we took him to the vet for his final exit so we could hold him while he died. With Ernie, we chose not to extend his life with fluids , etc - because of kidney failure and he never appeared to be in pain - only very slow. He died one night in his sleep - a few nights before Missy's wedding.
My point is writing all this is just to say that life and aging are all normal stages - and each can be enjoyed and made easier and it can be sad and also a joy to help make life happy for them!! They can't be kittens forever of course but they were happy and joyful kittens! Now they can be happy and dignified elderly cats!! They can enjoy ALL of their lives with you. I hope I make sense here.
I DO understand the melancholy though Debbie. I cried my eyes out many times over my old men I still cry for them at times. But I also know they had long and happy lives with us. ((((Debbie))))
It is OK and normal to feel sad. Please take extra pictures and spoil them extra!! Lots of love and special treatment that they deserve Watch them and savor everything they do so you never forget! Feel honored that they chose YOU to love