Catnapper,

I can speak from PERSONAL experience on this one. My daughter lived with my ex-husband and his @#$%* wife from the time she was 5 years old. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY greatful to Karen (ex's wife) for loving my daughter as much as I do. I paid child support every single week. I insisted that my pay be garnished so I would be sure that I took care of my kid.

Unfortunately Amy's circumstances were a little different in that she was diagnosed with brain cancer and they needed my help with insurance which I happily put her on my plan and paid for without asking.

I think Debbie said it best, and given you wonderful advice. Jo, being the lawyer also gave you great legal advice.

Don't get in the middle of it. It'll cause problems between you and your hubby AND believe it or not, you have absolutely NO consideration whatsoever according to the law!!! I know that pisses you off, because whatever effects hubby, effects you. All you can do is stand by his side through the whole thing. The kids, once they get older, will realize everything that has happened and see for themselves what went on.

I got advice from a great friend. No matter HOW much all this pisses you off, say absolutely NOTHING negative about the 6itch. Eventually my daughter will see for herself and come to her own conclusion. She did. It killed me not to call her names and say what I REALLY thought, but it paid off. I complimented Karen (ex's wife), told Amy how lucky she was to have her in her life, etc. I never regret taking that advice.

Hang in there kiddo. You're in for a rough ride. But it WILL work out in the end.