Thanks for everyone's kind words. I feel some better, though I still feel horrible for having to give her back and causing her more confusion and sadness and more things to have to adjust to. I wanted to be her mommy so much, but I couldn't stand seeing the changes it made in Samantha. The way their "playing" became aggressive so quickly worried me that it would make Lila grow into an aggressive, non-friendly adult and I didn't want that for her. She deserves the best and I just wish with all my heart that it could've been me that provided her with it.

I miss her already, but the little bugger did leave a legacy... She managed to romp around in the weeds and cover me with poison oak. The right side of my face is so swollen, I can barely see out of my right eye. I've got rashes all down my neck, arms, and legs. I have been absolutely miserable, but I guess I deserved it for giving her up.