By all means, try to meet up with your father. My brother spent his whole life feeling as if he was missing something... our father. He was too afraid to say so in highschool and then in college he started to really NEED to meet our father. Problem was that our father wasn't exactly the most reliable man and finding him once we became adults was impossible. My brother has spoken to our paternal Uncle and has gone to family reunions... but never once met our father. Nobody knows where he is. Not even the IRS! You see, my brother is a junior and the IRS keeps sending HIM the nasty letters about tax evasion instead of our father.

Even after all of these years, he still feels the loss of our father and wants to meet him. I am quite content to never meet my father ever again. I'm being true to myself - by not looking for my father, and my brother is being true to himself by looking for him.

Don't wait til its too late. Once you meet him, YOU can decide if he's the person you hoped he'd be, the person you feared he be, or something all together different. Just be honest with your mom and let her know that you don't want to hurt her by showing interest in meeting your father, that you just want to meet him. She should understand.