I don't think anyone was trying to say there is a magical medication regarding social phobias. I am on an anti-depressent and it doesn't make me more inclined to join in those kind of activities (I avoid them). But it makes me less likely to go into a severe depression as sirrahbed talked about before. That's all.
As I grew up, social events were there but i don't remember really enjoying them. I felt shy, stupid, ugly- you name it. Even though I wasn't stupid or ugly. And to this day (I'm in my 40's) I am extrememly uncomfortable in social gatherings. There were/are no family gatherings for me- so that's probably why I'm not acclimated- there was never a "family" per say. It's been a problem with my relationships all my life. I don't want to go to the holiday dinners, weddings etc (total ick and panic).
I don't want to be alone all my life- but that is where things are headed. You are sad that your husband has "become a recluse". Is he sad about that? If not, well I don't know what to say! I was going to say be glad but that is not the right solution as one can't just switch emotions like a switch and it is so much more complicated than what you are saying here...