Thanks everyone...and thanks Carrie. This is the biggest training project I have ever had with Graham. Obedience was a breeze, agility was cake, but this is a biggie. I have been very strict with him. With every walk, I have brought treats and had them in my pocket for rewards at all times. Graham is doing better, although I have a long way to go. On Sunday Graham made me proud (and shocked the heck out of me) by sniffing out the track of a rabbit, then he saw the bunny and immediately went after it, without thinking...then as quick as he went after it, he stopped and looked at me. I thought there was something wrong with him! I praised him so much that my throat hurt a bit He looked at me with eyes that seemed to say, "can I chase that?". When I told him he could not, he seemed to go on with his walk. All of this happened off lead.

As for letting Graham go potty on his regular leather walking lead, I don't want this. When I am walking him on his regular walking lead, I always unclip it, point towards a direction and tell him to go potty every so often...he knows the command and he complys. It's a good system for me, and I can trust that when I take him places in public I don't risk the chance of him peeing or pooping on something or somewhere that he should not.

I feel that although I am still working on this, and it will take awhile, I have quite a bit more control of Graham and he has more respect of me...now I am worried about my husband, Dan. Dan is really good at loving Graham, but he does not know about the actual training. He will need to know how to control Graham before he lets him off the flexi leash again, and since he is just not a natural with training, I think Dan will just use the Flexi leash and harness when Graham is being excersised and pottied.

Below is the email Carrie sent to me...it is incredibly knowledgable and it really makes sence.

Hello there,
I sympathise with you on this one, it is scary and will take time to become confident. Reassure yourself that anyone who says they trust their dog fully is asking for trouble.
Graham is not like this on the lead as he is a bright dog and knows you are in control and trusts you. He also knows that once he is a certain distance from you he is not under your control any more.

Before you start to get your control back here is something that will help a LOT. Get a whistle, not a sport whistle but a long plastic one with an even tone ( big tip - put it on a string and wear it around your neck when you are out with the dog and always put it in the same place in the house - you will lose one every two weeks if you are anything like me!!!!!) and a bell or two to fix to the harness. The bells will let you have a better idea where he is and warn wildlife that something is coming so big, loud bells are ideal, falconers bells are what I use.
You need to give Graham an idea what the whistle means and as food is going to be the way you reward him for his recall it will reinforce this in his mind if you first train him to eat only when he hears the whistle. Hold his bowl until he is sitting, tell him to stay as you put the food down (you will need to stand between him and the bowl at first and use your legs and voice to enforce the stay). Make sure that he stays for at least five seconds at first, stretching it out to fifteen to thirty as you become more confident, and then give two short blows on the whistle and allow him to eat. Don't use the whistle at any other time and never let him eat anything unless he hears those two toots from the whistle. (This is brilliant and seems impossible when you first try it but dogs will learn it VERY quickly, by about the fourth or fifth time you should be able to trust him not to go for the food before he hears the whistle.) Once he knows this you can go on to the next stage.....
Go right back to basics with recall training - this is the only time I think using food as a reward is worthwhile. It is important to let Graham know things have changed from day one (once whistle feeding is established and you are both confident with it) of this so take him out to relieve himself then fit his normal collar and lead (check chain if you use one, if not consider getting one now as it is a great tool when used correctly) as well as his harness. Spend five minutes "warming up" with some heel work, sits and stays. Then put him in a down stay and remove the collar/check chain, leaving the harness and flexi lead on (making sure you have plenty of slack on the flexi lead so there is no tension on the harness). Walk around him, go back, put the collar/check chain back on and praise like mad. If Graham enjoys fetch use a ball as part of the reward - throwing it just in front of him and going bonkers when he pick it up - you objective is to get him so in love with the ball he focuses on little else during the reward process. If not a ball then his favourite toy -but do not play tug of war with him.
Next put him in a sit stay and again remove the collar/check chain, leaving the harness and flexi lead on. Walk backwards from him, again with plenty of slack on the flexi lead, repeating the stay command and using a clear hand signal (I like to use my hand in an upright position with the palm facing the dog). Before you call the dog to you make sure you have a food reward in your hand ready ( small pieces of anything with a good strong flavour - liver, sausage or cheese are good, but little bits.) Two short toots on the whistle and then very quickly, "Graham, come" in a very happy, voice. As soon as he comes to you and sits give him the food reward and then the toy or ball, all the time going bonkers with your voice and with physical praise. Your dog is now going, "Whoa! I've done this before but it's never been this good before!" You need him to remember this reaction.
Practice this again and then go on your walk with him on the flexi lead. Every few minutes, varying the time between each recall, blow the whistle, call him and reward like crazy - food, toy/ball and voice.
As soon as he is doing this ten out of ten times, not expecting to get to this stage for three or four days, drop the vocal command, only use the whistle. If he responds to this he gets the works - food, toy/ball, vocal and physical praise. If he does not respond wait for five seconds and then whistle and use the vocal command - when he responds he gets a fuss and a good boy - no food. Five minutes later give him the whistle again - same rules. Keep going until he responds to the whistle and then he gets the food. All the time it is reinforcing - whistle means food!
When he responds ten out of ten times to the whistle alone you are allowed to become a little crazy in your dog's eyes.
The eleventh time he gets all the reward EXCEPT the food. Next time he gets everything, and the next. Next time NO FOOD! The next three times everything, next time NO FOOD. Next time everything, next NO FOOD! The dog will be slightly confused and try harder each time food is witheld to get it right - it is the same principle as when you are ignoring an undesired behaviour to rectify it- the dog will always try harder with the behaviour as it has always gotten him the attention he wanted before before he gives it up. In this case you are rewarding the dog trying harder.

At the same time teaching the fetch to Graham would be a really useful tool - in the house, on the flexi lead, using it as a reward game. If you can get him focused on a ball, dumbell or toy to the verge of obsession and beyond you then have a tool to work with!

This is more than enough to get you started and I promise you it will work, especially with a dog already tuned into you and well behaved. His willingness to please you is a Godsend - but it will take time, commitment and consistency.
Any questions don't hesitate to ask as I have a tendency to get writing and get carried away - so some of it may not be clear to you...that and the language barrier that I STILL can't get the hang of!

Best wishes and good luck, please let me know how you are getting on as that is the best bit for me.

With love, Carrie.

Again I thank you all very much.