Tricky situation. I know that I try to give my kids as much personal privacy as possible. I never go into their rooms unless I have good reason... that is THEIR space. HOWEVER, I have snooped and will snoop again. All three of my teens are good kids, but I know they are succeptable to peer pressure.

I purposely refuse to let my kids near the washer so I can "snoop" through the laundry every day. The laundry is the best place to snoop! Pockets hold some interesting things! LOL Also, a parent doing the laundry can tell if their teen has been into cigarettes, alcohol, drugs... all reek something awful on clothes. I'm telling you, its the best way to keep on top of their activities without actually invading their space. I know what clothes I buy and when something new shows up - it better be a gift that I knew about, something obviously won a million times that a friend didn't want anymore, or show me a reciept. Anyway, I noticed a lot of new clothing popping up, and of course got, "Honest, they're so-and-so's, I borrowed them" Yeah right. She got caught shoplifting not too long afterward and her whole world came crashing down around her. She's a FABULOUS kid with a good head, but made stupid decisions with her one friend.

As for the computer thing, I totally trust all three of my kids, but I also know all of their passwords. I've never once been compelled to check their e-mail. But on the ONE time I'm concerned about something, I will use it. All three know that if they wanted to use the internet and have an e-mail address they needed to provide the password. What's to stop them from changing the password after they give it to us? Who knows, but they wouldn't because they trust that we won't abuse the open policy. Also, they know that if they hide that one thing, we'll be suspicious and go rummaging through everything. Its not worth it to them to waste their time changing a password when everything would be a mess afterwards.

We have a very open and direct relationship with the kids. We trust that they will come to us with problems and they trust that we won't push for information. We also have their brother or sisters that come to us when they are concerned about their sibling. they don't hide anything from us about each other. They truly care about what each other's into and will talk to us about the stupid stuff they might be getting into.