Are you scared of spiders?

[popcornbird]

Originally posted by captain

Hi, it is the "deadly" Spider here …. And I think it is time for MY side of the story ……..

Well, for the past few days it has been mighty cold in Melbourne, and just the other day it started to rain. RAIN!!! We have not had rain for quite awhile, so I had to find myself a sheltered spot.

Now the lovely house I am currently living near has a PINK kitchen ……. Quite ALARMING actually!!! I mean really, who has a PINK kitchen in this day and age? ……… BUT I digress ….

I found this FANTASTIC spot, between a window and the fly screen of this not often used room in the house. People only occasionally enter, and not for long periods of time. Generally, the light is on for a short time, so a spider guy can get some good rest, which is what I was doing ….
WHEN all of a sudden the light came on, and a woman doing some strange acrobatics entered the room. She was doing this weird under the arm gymnastics ………. And had a look of horror on her face
(HEY LADY, try seeing yourself from my angle!!!! – pants around your knees!! – there is horror for you!!)

ANYWAY, wouldn’t you know it, she started towards me with this HUGE box of something, and was tapping on the screen. I clung on for dear life ……….. HELLO, LADY – you do realise I am on the OUTSIDE of the screen and could fall, injuring one of my 8 legs???

Well, she would not go away, so I eventually hightailed to the outside ………. And SHE CLOSED THE WINDOW. HOW CRUEL is this woman???? It is COLD out here ……….

But never fear, spiders are resilient ………….. and I have REVENGE on my mind. YUP, Ellen DeG was right, we can be vindictive ………..

CYA
Spider Guy

He he he!

Another story from the spider side.........

Hello! I am a spider from the US! I was born in a little spider web, in the corner of the ceiling in some girl called *Popcornbird*'s room. I lived here peacefully all my short life.........she never noticed me. I witnessed the cruel inhumane killings of my family. My siblings were squished before my eyes, my dad flushed, and my mom sucked by this horrible machine, known to humans, as the vacuum. Now I sit here alone, huddled in the corner, wondering what will be my fate. I am tiny now, but when I grow up, some human will certainly see me and bring my life to an end. I fear that day. I fail to understand why the humans are so very much afraid of me. They are, perhaps, 1000 times larger than I am. When I look down at them, it is like I am looking at an enormous, gigantic creature, that can crush me in half a second. I look at them, and they look back, and scream and run away. I am so little..........why are they so afraid?? I know that my life is limited.........that one day, I was meet my fate, and be squished or flushed or vacuumed. But I shall remain strong. I shall refuse to leave this house. I will stand up for my rights........even if it means losing my life.

Sincerely,
Squeaky Spider

Ps. Attached is a picture of my beautiful RB spider mom, who was sucked by a vacuum because she was too big to squish. Isn't she beautiful? May she RIP. *sigh*


HE HE HE