Elliot, Allen here.
I feel your pain. The other day, my meowmie figured I needed to have her finger inserted into my mouth with some sort of rubber bristle thing. She claims I have tar-tar on my teeth and need it removed. Well, I don't feel anything on my teeth, so she must be up to something too. I also overheard her tell dad that she was going to put me on a diet.

Hi, its Pouncer too.

Hey, kiddo, get out of here, I was talking first.

I'll be quick! Meowmie has been terrible to me too. She picked me up from a very nice nap and attacked my claws! I had spent all that time sharpening them on her couch too. She said they need to be short... I beg to disagree.

Can I finish what I was saying pip-squeak? Where was I? Oh yes, then meowmie keeps picking me up from a nice sleep to smother me. She claims its kisses because she loves me, but I know that she's trying to squeeze all the air out of me. What can we do about this unethical treatment?