Both you and RachelJ are on top of the situation already! You boyfriend also has a good point when he says the positive reinforcement isn't working!

You don't need advice you just need to go with your gut feeling!

The dog needs clear signals about what you want...consistent....fair...and for a long time. She also needs to know that you will respond when she is telling you she needs to go out RIGHT NOW!!!! You need to remember, EVERY time, that even at two thirty in the morning she is doing the right thing!

It is important to get the principle of house training established before you ask the dog to wait a bit.

Your heart and brain are in the right place....have some confidence to follow it up!