thanks for all your suggestions I would love to put in a doorbell with a different sound, but seeing as I'm in government housing I'm not alowed to change it I found the place where the sound comes out, but it's securely fastened to the wall almost at the ceiling. I may be able to secure a towel or something around the outside of it- it'd be ugly, but it might make him more comfortable.
Yes, it's true that I don't get visitors much and generally I can keep the door propped open enought to hear footsteps coming down our hallway if I'm expecting someone. I could definately put something over the button! It's have to be something large though because the button is quite long. I can put a sign on it, but it probably wouldn't do much good cuase most of the people that come over unexpectadly are Japanese workers who can't speak, let alone READ english letters. I'll take your advice and not try to desensitize him to it, I wouldn't want to stress him out even more, poor thing. Boomer spent most of the afternoon after the guys left curled up in a tight little ball on my lap with his front paws holding on to my arm with great strength. I feel so sorry for me poor little baby Hopefully things will get better. He's gotten to where he doesn't freak out quite so much when he sees my hunny in uniform. Paul has been making a point lately to speak softly and be extra sweet to Boomer.