Take away the whole taboo aspect of this being gay. We are talking about two human beings that want to share everything life has to offer. Let me try to put the legal aspect of it into proportion:
I am married to a wonderful man that was married before. His first marriage produced three kids. the first wife decided she liked BOTH men and women and left him to play with both. She gave up complete control of the kids. She was responsible for Child Support. Well, ten years later, she has remarried too and has decided not to pay her child support even though she is still legally responsible. She is over $20,000 behind in CS. She hasn't seen or contacted the kids in over three years. When I try to contact the courts to find out why she hasn't been paying, and why she's not being investigated, I am told that I am nobody because the case does not conern me. How? I am in this marriage. I live with these kids and am raising them as my own. I spend all of my time, money, love on them. How could I possiby be nothing? Simple: the laws are written in such a way that I have no power and am not recognised. Sure, I am married to my husband (duh) but my rights regarding the children are nil, and that sucks. I am not asking to take the kids away from her - she can come see them if she wanted to. I'm asking for the right to fight for what the kids deserve from her. My husband is so hurt by this woman that he lets her walk all over him... he knows that he needs me to fight since I have not been hurt in that way.... but I am useless. My hands are tied.

Imagine now, if your whole relationship was that way.