Butterfly, I also have a Maine Coon Cat. Male. Sounds like yours is afraid of getting hurt because of the previous experiences. I would take him to a good groomer and let them clip him really good. Be sure it is one who has dealt a lot with mats and who is familiar with Maine Coon Cats. Then when he is clipped and smooth start gradually brushing him with a soft baby brush if he will tolerate that, and gradually in a few weeks, a larger brush. This should keep the mats from forming. He should be pulling some off himself when they are still small,but perhaps he can't reach them. Our Maine Coon was a little timid about the brush--so I tried this. You are right about not cutting a large mat; it can be dangerous. Trick is to prevent them if possible. Our female long-haired calico cat is old and obese and can't reach her back side, so I have to soak her in a tub about once a month to remove anything which is sticking and beginning to mat. The water helps losen up things. I also use a kitty shampoo. Hope some of this helps...It is a struggle.

Originally posted by Butterfly:
I have a beautiful Maine Coon Cat that mats and won't let me near him with a brush or comb. Is there anything I can use to put on the mats to untangle them. I usually take him to the vet to have his rear shaved. I feel like a "bad mom" but I do really try to corner him and brush. His sister loves to be brushed! Go figure! When I adopted them he had about 3 golf sized mats and I had a hard time cutting them off which is dangerous to the cat. HELP Any suggestions would be helpful Thanks