Susan, welcome to Pet Talk. You have found a wonderful place of caring friends who are held together by the loving bond we all have for our pets. Unfortunately since we will outlive our pets, we will all go through what you are going through and many of us have already. Our pets are family members and we grieve as for a family member. There is an empty hole in your life right now, but time will help to heal you. Try to think of the pleasant memories of your special kitty and maybe even in time you will be able to open up your heart and life to a new kitty. We are here to help if we can.