I meant to tell you that I know how hard that decision is to make, also. I was 18 and my parents were out of town. I came home to my old Siamese. She was lying in the doorway to my room. Her back leg muscles weren't working anymore. That was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do. I know it's going to take a long time to even feel a little better. I hope your kitties help make the loss a little easier. We'll all be thinking about you.