“I don’t like it at all. I wonder what happened to everyone.” I asked, confused. I
knocked on Eliza’s door.
“Who is it?” she yelled from inside. I opened the door.
“Kersey!!” she screamed-literally screamed-in my ear. “Oh my gosh! I’m so
glad to see you!” she cried.
“Hey kiddo!” I said hugging her.
“Where have you two been?” she said winking.
“Haha... well... I have a surprise for you.” I said, wringing my hands. Why was I
so nervous? Eliza smiled.
“What?” she asked, hopping up and down. She was like a little sister waiting
for candy.
“Graham and I... we’re... having a baby.” I said, quietly, looking at my feet.
Eliza’s mouth dropped.
“Baby?” she asked. She dropped her mouth open even further.
“Yeah. Baby.” I said. She hugged us both once more and told us to sit on her
bed.
“So what happened to this place?” Graham asked.
“We don’t know... we think it was because they weren’t bringing in enough
money. They got new owners... it’s been really weird lately.” she said.
“Yeah... too much white.” Graham said, laughing. We talked on and on for
almost 3 hours when the nurses knocked on the door.
“Excuse me children, visiting hours are over.” she said, and closed the door
again.
“Visiting hours?” I cried. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” I
exclaimed. Eliza nodded. She got up and hugged Graham and I again and she
kissed my belly.
“Come back soon. Please.” she pleaded.
“I’ll be back very soon. Do you think they will let you come to the wedding?” I
asked.
“How much longer?” Eliza asked.
“Three weeks from tomorrow.”
“I’ll... be out by then!” she stated, smiling.
“Aww! That’s great Eliza!” I said, smiling for her. Then the nurse knocked
again.
“Now please.” she said and waited for us to leave.
“See you later, Eliza.” Graham and I said in unison. We waved and left.
The wedding was drawing nearer. It was now a week and a half until the
wedding. Eliza had called the day before, telling us she was home, still living with
her parents, but home. We were both very excited for her.
Graham had already started planning for the baby. He was figuring finances
and even pointing out baby stuff we would need in stores.
It was finally the day of the wedding. I had never been more nervous in my life.
I also think part of me was nervous about telling everyone about the baby. I was
getting my hair done with Eliza, who I wanted to be my bride’s maid. Eliza also
suggested I have a floral arrangement in honor of Olivia. It brought me to tears.
There was definately going to be a memorial.
Eliza called and ordered a floral arragement for the memorial. She wouldn’t
tell me what type of flowers were in it, but I did hear roses.
Finally came the time to slip into my dress. My hair was gorgeous, and I had
a special diamond tiara that my mother bought me especially for the day I would get
married.
I stepped into the dress with the help of my mother. She zipped up the back
and fluffed the bottom. I turned around and face the mirrors. The memories came
flashing back of when I had first seen this dress, then the day Graham gave it to me.
“You look so beautiful, sweetie.” my mom said, putting her hand over her
mouth. She was crying. I hugged her.
“It’s okay mom, don’t cry.” I said in a calm and caring voice. She backed off
and looked at me again.
“My little girl is getting married.” she said and a smile appeared on her face.
For the first time I was someone’s special little girl. I smiled back and we headed to
the limo. Now we were off to the church.
I watched the scenery roll by through the window in the limo. I remembered
being a little girl over at Olivia’s; playing house and dress up and endless summer
sleep overs. I remembered our first year at junior high school. We were terrified, and
we had no classes together. Somehow we both got through it alive. Then came high
school. Even more scary. We were constantly together on our off time.
We were coming up on her house now. I saw something on her front porch.
first the porch swing that we sat on every night. Then I saw a person... we came
closer and I realized it was a person in a wheel chair, Olivia’s mom.
“Stop the car!” I cried, flinging the door open. I picked up the ends of my
dress and ran up the tattered, worn, wooden porch steps we had played tag on so
many times. This was the home free zone.
Olivia’s mom looked up and me. I stopped on the porch in front of her and
smiled. She looked me over, up and down, looking at my dress.
“Marriage?” she asked quietly.
“Yeah, I’m getting married.” I said, smiling. I bent down and hugged her
gently.
“So fast..” she whispered under her breath. She closed her eyes and bit her
bottom lip.
“I would love for you to come.” I said, still holding my dress in my hands. “I
need you there.”
She just looked at me and smiled again. I yelled for my mom and she helped
Olivia’s mom out of the wheelchair and into the limo. The driver packed her chair in
the back. Olivia’s mom held my hand the whole way there. She kept looking at me,
and once, before we got there, I heard her whisper, “My little girl.”
Finally we arrived at the chruch. While I paced around in the lobby, my mom
took Olivia’s mom to her seat in the front of the church. Eliza came in next, looking
so beautiful. We saw each other and hugged.
“You look wonderful.” Eliza practically whispered. She looked me over the
same way Olivia’s mom had.
“Kersey? Ready?” my dad asked.
“Yep. Go Eliza!” I said. She grabbed Graham’s friend Noah’s arm and within
seconds they were preceeding down the aisle.
Everything was exactly how I dreamed it would be. I had a major case of
nervousness. My stomach fluttered with butterflies as I stood next to my father, hand
in hand, ready to walk down the aisle.
The doors reopened. Now it was my turn to take the long walk down the aisle.
We marched quietly and slowly, as the wedding song was played. I looked up
and saw Graham at the altar. Everything about him was perfect. He was wearing a
beautiful black tuxedo. He was almost angelic.
We reached the end of the altar and my dad kissed the top of my head. I
remember him doing it that way when I was a kid. I walked up to Graham at the altar.
He had tears in the corners of his eyes.
“You look so beautiful.” he whispered.
“You too.” I whispered back. The priest recited the vows and Graham and I
repeated after him. The whole time, Graham just kept smiling at me.
“I now give you...” the priest began.
“Mr. and Mrs. Graham Koplin.” The church erupted with applause. Graham
and I kissed and made our way through the swarming crowd of people to the
awaiting limo outside.
We practically fell into the limo. People behind us were cheering, screaming
and some were even crying.
“See you there!” Graham yelled through the roof of the limo. I had never seen
him so happy. He crawled back through the roof window and sat down. He looked at
me.
“You are... so... beautiful.” he said quietly. He took my hand in his and gave it
a light squeeze.
“I was speechless when I saw you coming down the aisle. You looked like an
angel.” he said. He laughed and rubbed his teary eyes.
“You did too.” I said, laughing and giving him a hug.
“I’m so happy.” he said. He smiled and grabbed my hand and held it in his
the whole way to the ballroom. That’s right where I wanted to stay; locked in his arms
forever.
“Ready to tell everyone the news?” he asked. I gave him a pained look.
“What’s the matter? Aren’t you happy?” he asked me, looking concerned.
“I’m just wondering if it’s too soon, Graham. I am twenty. Twenty!” I cried. “We
have our whole lives ahead of us. What are we going to be able to do with a baby
around?”
“It’s called a babysitter. It will be okay, Kersey. You will love this baby and so
will I.” Graham said, grabbing my hand again.
“I hope no ones mad.” I said, looking out the window, biting my lip.
“They won’t. And if they are, we can do it ourselves.” he said, confidently. I
closed my eyes. Do it ourselves. That seemed like a lot of work. Graham eased me
back and I layed on his chest the whole way to the reception. He kissed my
forehead and told me it would be alright. Again, I felt that emotion wash away all my
fears of becoming a first time mom. I knew he was right.
When we arrived, everyone else was already there. We walked in and the
crowd stood and applauded.
“Kersey and Graham Koplin!!” The man on stage yelled. This only made the
crowd cheer louder. Graham and I walked through the opening in the group of
people to the middle of the dancefloor. Graham walked up to the announcer on the
stage and took the microphone.
“Well guys, I believe we have an announcement to make. Will my mom and
dad come up here along with Kersey’s parents?” he asked, looking around the
room for them. Within seconds, both pairs emerged from the crowd. They walked up
and stood in front of us, completely puzzled. Graham put his arm around his parents
shoulders and my mother held my hand. She mouthed something to me, but I wasn’t
paying attention.
“Well. We have a very important announcement to make to everyone in this
room, but especially our parents.” Graham said. “Ladies and gentlemen, please,
allow me to introduce, Grandma and Grandpa Koplin and Grandma and Grandpa
Yearling.” he said, unsteadily.
It took a few seconds for it to sink in. I heard a few gasps, then my mom
looked at me.
“A baby?” she asked. The tone of her voice sounded disgusted.
“Congratulations!” My dad yelled, hugging me. I focused my eyes back on my
mom. She had turned away and was walking back to her table. My dad looked and
me and hugged me again.
“Don’t worry about your mother.” he said, then walked after her.
Graham’s parents on the other hand, were ecstatic. Graham’s mom was
crying, and his dad was close to tears too.
“A grandbaby!” his mom cried, jumping up and down. Graham was pure
smiles. Graham looked over at me and must have seen the saddened expression
on my face. He gave the mic back and came over to me.
“What’d they say?” he asked, putting his hand on my arm. I said it plain and
simple.
“My mom doesn’t want a baby.” I wasn’t going to let this ruin my wedding day.
“Ready to dance?” I asked. Graham must have read my mind because he asked no
further questions.
I avoided my mother the whole night. We got no pictures taken with each
other. The few times she did approach me, I either walked away or got into a crowd
where she couldn’t reach me. Everyone else that night congratulated me.
Graham and I danced our slow dance together. It was our song, called “In
These Arms”. It was so romantic, and I admit it, I cried. Graham and I danced, so
perfectly, my head against his chest, and over and over again he told me how much
he loved me. And that’s all that mattered.
The night passed very quickly. Before we knew it, it was two in the morning
and people were leaving. Graham and I sat down on some fold up chairs against the
wall.
“How was it?” Graham asked.
“Wonderful.” I said smiling.
“No. Really tell me how you feel about your mom’s baby comment Kersey. I
know you wouldn’t take it that easily.” he said propping his elbows on his knees,
ready to listen.
“I don’t know. If she can’t accept it, then she can do whatever she wants.” I
said to him. “I don’t care about her.”
Graham just sat there, maybe pondering what I had just said. He reached
over and kissed me and helped me up.
We got in the limo and people were still honking at us. My dad waved at me
through the window of his car. I waved back and blew him a kiss. My mother didn’t
even look at me.
We drove home and I collapsed onto the bed. I put my hand on my stomach
that was now one month into being the home of my baby. Graham took off his tux
and changed into some sweatpants. He came back out without a shirt on and I had
to laugh. I was overly tired and easily amused. He came and layed next to me. He
also reached over and put his hand on my stomach.
“I love you, Kersey.” he said, kissing my hand. I just smiled. I kicked my shoes
off, not even moving. I rolled over and stood up and asked Graham to unzip the back
of my dress so I could change into som more comfortabele clothes. He stood up
and unzipped me then kissed my neck. I laughed because it tickled, but then went to
get changed. I came back and he was already in bed.
I crawled into bed and he put his arm around my waist.
“Please don’t worry about your mom.” he said, sincerely. I put my head on his
shoulder.
“I’m not, I’m just surprised that she said that to me.” I said, frowning. He
kissed my bare shoulder again.
“Don’t worry. She’ll understand.” he said. He kissed me on the cheek and
went to bed.
I woke up before Graham that day and decided to make him breakfast. We
were leaving for our honeymoon tomorrow. We were going to my dream vacation
spot-- Cancun, Mexico. It was going to be a cruise, then we would go to Belize,
Central America for a week and then back to Cancun for a week. It was going to be
wonderful, and even more, Graham’s parents had paid for over half of it as a
wedding gift.
Graham stumbled out of bed a few minutes into the cooking of breakfast. He
still had no shirt on.
“Tired?” I asked, sarcasticly.
“Nope.” He said, and plopped down in the kitchen chair and rubbed his eyes.
“My mom called.” I said casually. He almost jumped out of his chair.
“What’d she say?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t answer it.” I said, stirring the pancake mix. I heard him
sigh.
“Kersey, give her a chance. Who knows, maybe she was calling to
apologize.” he said. He came up behind me.
“I don’t want to mess with her right now. I’ll wait until after the honeymoon.” I
continued stirring the mix. Graham put his arms around my waist and watched.
I finished my pancakes and put them on the table. Graham and I talked about
our trip, what we would do, and how much fun it was going to be. He offered to clean
up the kitchen so I could shower.
I kissed him and went into the bedroom. I pulled Izzy out of the closet again
and got into the shower. There were razors on the shelf in the bathroom. I looked at
them for almost three minutes before realizing that I was staring at them.
I shook my head. Never again, I had promised that to myself. I took a razor
anyway.
I got into the shower and turned on the water. I was startled by the sheer
coldness of the water at first, and I jumped, dropping the razor. I watched it swim a
path down to the drain and swirl around, to large to fit through. I picked it up again
and put it on the edge of the tub. I turned the water to normal temperature and put my
face under the streams.
I looked back down at the razor. I picked it up off the cool tile and held it. I
closed my eyes. Just once, I thought. He won’t ever know. I’ll tell him it was an
accident, I said. I took the plastic cover off the razor and dropped it into the water
forming in the bottom of the tub. It, like the razor, floated to the drain and spun like
mad.
I threw the razor down.
“Damnit!” I yelled. The razor had hit my leg. A tiny stream of blood traveled
down my leg and hit the water, washing away all my thoughts about cutting.