"I have to say, quite the hotel, eh?" he said. I laughed so hard that I had tears in my
eyes. For that day, I had forgotten about Jeremy, my anorexia, my cutting. We both
fell asleep on the bed and woke up the next day to someone pounding on the door.
My heart skipped a beat. We were toast.
"Stay here." he said. He got up and looked through the peephole. It was the
hotel manager. Graham opened up the door and stepped aside.
"A little to much partying last night, folks." he said. I couldn't help but laugh.
''I'm sorry, sir." Graham said, and closed the door. We both busted out
laughing as soon as the door closed.
"Let's go to the mall. We can look at least." I said. I had very little money,
Graham had some left, he had his parents bring him some every once and a while
thinking it was for the monthly fee. What a joke.
"How much do you have?" I asked.
"Well I told my parents the monthly fee was $20, so I have a little over $60
left." he said. That was for food. Or else we had nothing.
We wandered around for a while, then sat in the center square of the mall.
We were laughing and having a great time when I saw something that caught my
eye. I got up and walked toward the newspaper stand. I grabbed the top one and
looked at the front-page story.
"Local Jailbird Escapes From Jail" the headline said. They showed Jeremy's
mug shot picture. I lost my breath for a second and had to close my eyes to make
sure I was reading it correctly. Graham appeared over my shoulder. He grabbed the
paper out of my hand and threw it back on the rack.
"Come on, baby. Let's go back to the hotel." he said. He grabbed my hand
and we ran out of the mall. When we stopped outside the mall at a busy intersection,
I felt tears in the back of my eyes. I closed my eyes and let them fall.
We hurried back to our room and slammed the door behind us. I was so
exhausted, I felt like I might pass out. I sat on the bed and closed my eyes. I needed
food.
"I'm starving Graham." I said. I looked in the mini fridge in our room. Nothing.
"I'll go get you some, baby." he said. He grabbed a twenty off the table and
looked out the door.
"You stay RIGHT here." he said to me. "Do NOT move." he said, with his
hand on my shoulder. I looked at him through my teary eyes. He ran outside and I got
up to watch him through the window. There was a McDonalds down the street so I
watched him the whole way. I grabbed my pills out of my bag and took some. I had a
really bad headache. I sat back on the bed and drifted off for a few minutes when I
heard something that woke me with a jolt.
It was a gunshot. I screamed and ran outside. I knew it was Graham. I was so
scared.
Someone was standing in the middle of the road with a gun in the air.
The person with the gun had only shot into the air. I looked around, scared
and confused, looking for Graham. I saw him in safety across the street, in the crowd
of people who had gathered outside.
The person holding the gun was still to far to see, but I knew it had to be
Jeremy. He was screaming something that I couldn't hear. He looked around at the
crowd and saw me.
"You!" he screamed pointing the gun at me. I stood my ground. "You
disobeyed me and you loved me. You left me. You will pay." he screamed at me. He
took the gun, still aimed at me and got ready to pull the trigger. I closed my eyes but
kept my composure. If he was this serious, he could kill me for all I cared.
I kept my eyes closed until a gun went off. I jumped and covered my ears,
waiting for pain. Nothing came. I slowly opened my eyes. Everyone was down on the
ground and I was the only one standing. I looked and noticed Graham was also
standing. We both looked into the middle of the street. Jeremy was in a pile on the
road.
I pushed through everyone and walked to Jeremy. He was lying in a heap on
the ground. He was still hanging on, but barely conscious. He opened his eyes for
the last time and said, "I love you."
I cried; I really did. I didn't know what had gotten into me. This person had
tried to kill Graham and I and I was crying over his death. I bent down and kissed his
forehead. Graham appeared behind me and I turned and hugged him tightly.
Graham wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me back to the hotel
room. I was still crying and I was just glad Graham understood. I told him I wanted to
stay in the hotel overnight, then go back to the Rehab Center. I didn't feel safe
anymore.
I was a mess from then on until we left. I didn't cry, but I was just depressed. I
felt like I had killed him. I ruined his life, I killed him. I had lost two of my best friends.
We walked back to the rehab center later the next day. We were welcomed
back by everyone, who was waiting in the lobby for us. Everyone was in tears, and I
noticed Emma was back. Heather and Eliza were near the front of the crowd, along
with Rachel and Emma. I ran up and hugged everyone, and they welcomed us back.
I wiped the few tears out of my eyes and looked over to Emma.
"How ya doin', kid?" I asked, trying to smile for her.
"It was meant to be. I'm sorry you had to be involved, Kers. He's in a better
place now." she said. I knew he was. I was happy she understood.
It turned out Graham was going to be released later that week, on Friday. I
was partially devastated, but I knew it would make him happy. I was being released
in a few months, I felt like I would be here forever. Graham had most of his stuff
packed about two days before he was to be released. He and I spent a lot of time
together in the rec room. We had our daily foos-ball games, but our daily walks were
cut shorter and shorter until they disappeared all together.
Finally his day came. Julie, Rachel and Heather went and bought party
supplies. We had a huge going away party, because he was a huge part of the
center. The night of the party was coming up and I was really excited. Only a few
hours till take off!
Julie had ordered a cake, Heather helped in making some sugar cookies,
Emma and I decorated the rec room. Drew was allowed to take him out for lunch, so
we could set up.
"This is going to be AWESOME!" Heather cried, as she entered the
decorated rec room. There were streamers everywhere, balloons, music, the food
was set up in the corner, and it WAS going to be great.
Graham and Drew came back about 10 minutes after we finished. We all hid
in the rec room somewhere, and when he entered and turned on the lights, we
waited.
"What is going on?" he asked, looking around. We all jumped out and
hugged him.
"Thanks guys, this is really great. I'm gonna miss you." he said. That last line
brought everyone to tears, but they were mostly happy tears, because this was
meant to be a happy day, not a sad one.
"Thanks guys, this is really great. I'm gonna miss you." he said. That last line
brought everyone to tears, but they were mostly happy tears, because this was
meant to be a happy day, not a sad one.
The party was great, everyone had a lot of fun. I ate 2 whole cookies, Graham
was very proud. He said he would come visit once a week, and when I got out we
would move away and live together forever. Those were his exact words.
Later that night, we moved everything to the side and had a disco ball put in.
We had a huge dance floor, and I think it was the biggest hit of the night. We had rap
music playing, slow dances, everything. I got to slow dance with Graham twice
before he decided to share himself with the other women. I danced with Drew, and
later on Emma, Eliza, Heather and I danced together. It was so cool.
The night ended, and everyone left. Once again, it was Graham and I left in
the decorated rec room. The disco ball was still spinning, music still playing. It was
more romantic than the kiss in the dark. The moon was shining through the replaced
window onto the dance floor. We danced another slow dance and he kissed me
goodnight. He promised he would wake me before he left. We parted our own ways
and went to bed. I was the happiest person in the world.
Graham woke me up at around six.
"I'm leaving, baby." he whispered while I was still laying in bed. I smiled and
kissed him.
"I'll see you later. I'll come by next week." he said and winked as he left. "Love
ya, Kers." he said. I smiled and went back to bed. I woke up again at around eight. I
already missed him. I could tell this was going to be a hard week without him.
I went to breakfast and had a whole slice of toast. I had my doctor’s
appointment today also. I was hoping for good news, and that maybe I would get out
earlier than planned.
I went to Shannon's office down the hall. It was the first time I had been to the
doctor in a while. She weighed me first, and I was what she called a healthy 105
pounds. I shuddered.
"You're doing awesome Kersey. When you came, you were just over 90." she
said, smiling. "Way to go." She checked my blood pressure, my pulse, and she took
some blood. I felt an uncontrollable urge to cut. 'You can't Kersey. Tell yourself no.'
said a voice inside my head. I fought the urge and won. I was getting better by the
day, the doctor told me. And I actually believed it. Then the doctor gave me the
prognosis.
"You are doing well, for your area. I'm thinking maybe you can be released in
two weeks instead of four if you keep up your weight and eating habits." she said. I
was overjoyed.
Today was my 19th birthday. We all went out shopping. Heather bought me a
new CD, Emma got me a charm bracelet, and a few people got me some charms
for it. It was probably the best birthday I'd had in a while.
We danced again, had some snacks, and I went to bed really late. It was
about one before we all decided to call it a night. I went to bed wondering why my
parents didn't call.
Graham came the next day to wish me a happy birthday. He said he would
have come the day before but his mother was sick and was rushed to the hospital.
"I'm sorry, Graham." I said hugging him.
"Kersey, phone!" Heather yelled.
"Hang on." I said, running over to Heather.
"I think it’s your parents." she whispered, while handing my phone.
"Umm, hello?" I said, clearing my throat. It was my mom.
"Hey, baby girl! Happy Birthday!" She said. I could tell she was trying to be
cheery to make up for not calling yesterday.
"Hi Mom. Thanks." I said, with no enthusiasm whatsoever.
"Did you get our card? We sent it yesterday, it should come today." she said.
"No, mom."
"Well it will come. We need to run, baby. Have an awesome day." she said.
"It was my party yesterday, but I'll have a better day than if I was at home." I
said, hanging up. I didn't care if they didn't.
I went to check my mail. Sure enough, there was my birthday card, along with
one from my Grandma in England and one from my aunt in Texas. At least they had
an excuse for a late birthday card. I opened the one from my aunt Tracey first. The
card had a fifty in it. I gasped. I wasn't all that surprised, she had always given us
money. Ever since I was six.
The next was from my grandma Miranda. She wrote so many x's and o's it
made me dizzy. Inside was a twenty. I smiled and stuck the money back in the card.
The one from my parents was different. Inside they had all signed their names, and
put two x's and two o's. It wasn't that special. I frowned and put the card back in. It
was like I was a stranger to them. They were too afraid to write I love you.
Graham told me he was in the process of apartment searching. He had found
a few and was wondering if I would like to move in with him once I got released. I
told him I would love to. It would be better than going back home to people who don't
care.
Then once again, a new member came to the facility. Her name was Josie, a
struggling drug addict. She told us she had been doing drugs since she was 12. It
actually scared me at first. She looked like a cool kid though, but I only had two
weeks left, I didn't want to get attached to someone like the way I am attached to
Emma, Heather, and Eliza.
It was two days before I was scheduled to leave. Eliza was told she was
being released in a few weeks too. I was already an emotional wreck. I felt I had to
pay them back somehow, to make up for them having to deal with me. I went and
bought each of them a charm bracelet with what money I had. They cried when I
gave it to them, and we all had a group hug.
"We'll never forget you, Kersey." Heather cried, hugging me.
"Yeah, you have become such a great friend to me, Kersey girl. You're the
bomb." she said smiling.
"You guys, I promise I will come and visit. Promise. You all mean a lot to me
too, I wouldn't dare forget you." I said, smiling and wiping the tears out of my eyes.
"Kersey, you have another letter." Rachel told me.
"Be right back guys." I wondered who it was from. It was my birthday almost
two weeks ago. I pulled the letter out of my mailbox and looked at the address. It
was from Olivia's mom.
Kersey- I hope you had a great 19th. I couldn't find your address, and couldn't
get a hold of your parents. I'm sorry about Jeremy. Hope you're doing alright, honey.
I've included a picture I found of you and Livvie. I, again, hope you have a great 19th.
Love, Mom.
She actually signed it mom. I really called her mom when I was little and over
at Olivia's house. She was a mom to me. The mom I never had.
The picture was of me and Olivia when we were about seven. She had
perfect curly blonde hair when she was little, and we had been playing dress up. She
was in a long robe and had curlers in her hair. Me, on the other hand, and a suit and
hat on. Whenever we played house I got elected dad.