Naw-tee Dog Stories Please!

[Twisterdog]

The first day I left Keito alone in the house while I went to work, I learned he could open door knobs with his teeth. I also learned he could open door on wrought-iron birdcages and remove budgies, without so much as spilling the water.

The second day I left for work, I learned Keito could open refrigerator doors. He took everything out of the refrigerator, every packet of catsup, a gallon of milk, lettuce ... everything. He carried it all into the living room, and proceeded to tear/shred/rip/shake everything to bits. I had to repaint the entire room, because the walls and ceiling were covered in catsup, soy sauce, soda pop, etc. The carpet had to be replaced. The couch had to be recovered. I have never seen such a mess in my life, honestly.

The third day I left for work, Keito went into a crate. (Never having crate trained a dog before, it took me two days to think of it. Slow learner, I know.) I learned, however, that Keito can use his front legs and feet much as a cat or a monkey can. He s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d his front legs out of the crate and somehow grabbed an handwoven Navajo Indian blanket I had covering a table. He then pulled the corner into his crate, and pulled the blanket off the table, and shredded the whole thing. Sadly ... my thirty gallon aquarium was sitting on that table. So, I came home to broken glass, gravel, water and dead fish all over the kitchen floor ... and Keito peacefully sitting in his crate, digesting 30 square feet of Navajo wool.

That night I held his head and looked into his eyes and said, "Ok, I have obviously underestimated you. You are not a normal, ordinary dog. Perhaps you are the reincarnated soul of Anubis, I don't know. However, if you continue to destroy my house, I will have no other choice but to return you to the shelter. Understand?"

After that ... he would destroy exactly two things every day ... the last two things I touched before I left the house. Creepy, but true. If I finished my coffee and fed the fish, he would smash the coffee cup against the walls and floor until it broke, and eat all the fishfood. I then made sure the last two things I touched were a rope toy and a rawhide bone.

Perfect dog now, though. Albeit more than a bit creepy in his combination of feline/human intelligence.