Dear Mummy,

I hosted a lovely champagne cocktail party in my stateroom yesterday. It was so fun. Cassy, who as you know is VERY metrosexual, came too. Tibby, who is a fast learner told us about her research into Harry Winston jeweled trinkets. She understands jewelry is a necessity, not a luxury! We were giggling and having such a girlish good time and then............................Eddie came back from whereever!!! I was sooooo embarrassed! Just look at him!


Rolling around on the floor and belching!!!!


Please, please, please mummy....may I send him home before he totally destroys my reputation????

Distressfully,

Winny