I wish I could be more helpful. I had a beautiful girl named spagetti who was the sweetest thing, but all my other cats hated her (or loved to torment her ). She never got a moments piece. She peed Everywhere, became skittish, always ate on her own. Unfortunatly the best thing I could do was find her a home where she'd be happy. Luckily I have an aunt who lives in a rural area with lots of land. While she has many cats, spagetti is able to go outside, and have her own space. She is much happier now. She too came from a family who dumped her ( she kept having kittens, and they didn't know what to do ) Luckily I still get to see her and have her in my life. I wish I could tell you how to fix it and make it work at your home. I would like to think the others will grow out of it, but that's a few years of torment for your girl. Do you have anyone who has lots of space/needs a single cat/needs a friend for another senior cat?