You sound like you could be describing a typical day in my house with Jan and Joxer. She can be so mean and jealous. Sometimes my husband will give her "snuggle" therapy by putting on a jacket and unzipping it halfway and sticking her in the jacket - she looks like a little baby kangaroo this way...
This can calm her down.
We also feed "the princess" in a separate room away from the boys and this helps too.
I just don't know what it is sometimes with girl kitties and their dispositions.
I might try that vanilla thing myself and see how it works.
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