We don't get door to door salesmen, we get church people out to convert the heathens....I usually just say I'm not interested and if they don't leave, I "accidentally" let one of the dogs' heads poke out next to my leg to bark at them. They don't have to know that they are only in danger of getting licked to death or getting dog hair on their nice suits.

If I get a telemarketer and they ask for me, I tell them "sorry, she's not here, can I take a message?" and if they ask when is a good time to call back, I say "The 12th of Never!" and hang up. Sometimes if I'm really annoyed, I'll pick it up and hang it up or I'll bang it on the desk a few times, then hang up.