Thanks, Fox_Gal, for those very wise words. You are right that Pet Talk can be a very "clique-y" place, but I wouldn't worry about it - most of the cliques aren't worth being in anyway. Better that you can use your own voice and not worry about going "against the group".

The timing on this couldn't be more coincidental for me - I am sitting here in a hotel room in California because my dad died on the 22nd out here, dealing with the aftermath of a ridiculous family argument between my 2 other sisters, resulting in one of them going back home already even before the memorial service. My oldest sister was complaining about the way the middle sister laughs - it's too loud, she sounds psycho, what will people think, etc. Ironically, we had just chosen a verse to be put on my dad's memorial folders that said he would like the memories of him to be happy ones, because he was a really funny, happy, positive guy, but she was telling my middle sister that laughing right now is totally inappropriate and disrespectful. Well, the tension over this grew to the point that they had a huge screaming match in which every past transgression against each other over the past 40 years was brought up, so middle sister has returned home and will never speak to older sister again (though this seems unlikely). Oldest sister has not shut up about this whole thing since it happened, which is starting to make me a little crazy since we are here to take care of dad and his affairs, not sit around backstabbing and arguing. (And for the record, I've been laughing a lot these past few days too, remembering all the great stuff about my dad and my sisters, but somehow my laugh must be at the right decibel level - go figure.)

I tried to tell oldest sister that the sound/volume of middle sister's laugh is something that she cannot change or control, but oldest sister said it's BS and that she was doing it "on purpose for attention". They simply could not respect each other's differences and get past them for the sake of pulling together for this funeral. The words you have posted here really do ring true, and I will try to remember them in the future.

(and by the way - I miss my kitties! )