Wow, Kelly! You poor thing!!!
Sounds like you have been thru the ringer this weekend!!!
I think the best thing would be to rehome Phoebe and Samson. I know you love them with all your heart but it sounds as tho Phoebe has some 'issues'. That, yes can be worked thru and I know you are more then willing to do it, but it sounds as tho you might not be getting the support you would need now. Would the eye doctor consider taking both of them? You can give the whole kitten speel as to at least they would have someone else to grow up with and play with type thing.
As for David, hmmmmmmm, I am not quite sure what to say. Yes he has a reason to be angry and vent. And sometimes even tho you know it doesn't do any good to yell at something b/c they don't understand, doesn't make you any less angry. I probably would have blown my top also. Sometimes you just have to have temper tantrums, I guess, and it seems as tho things are coming to a head in your household. And the good thing is that Phoebe was on the other side of the door. And noone got hurt, just pi$$ed off.
I am going to step out on a limb here and be the 'bad cop' and say, I for one have been worried about you since you took in these (adorable) kitties. Money issues are none of my business, but I am more afraid of the fact, of your apt manager if you get 'caught', having the extra cats.
I know that multiple cat households can thrive and flourish, as it is successfully being down countless places here in PetTalkville alone, and I know that the people that have replied to you can offer you more and better advice then I can. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and offering support if you so desire. I am only a PM away!
{{hugs to you}}