One thing I have learned from posting on Pet Talk is that you can't take things personally. People are really trying to help. If we ask for help, we can't get upset with the response.
I have found that cats are going to do what they want to do and aren't as easily disciplined as dogs are. If you're going to have them, with claws intact, inside your home, somethings are going to be at risk.
I think the idea of leaning the chairs is perfect. I have found that each cat has its own preferences. Our Mimi doesn't care to climb on much of the furniture, but when she wants to, she's going to do it. Catching her is the hard part! I don't mind her sleeping on any of it as there are many remedies for cat hair, just not so many for curing the claw marks when she decides she needs to sharpen her claws. As soon as I say "NO", the dogs are all over her! They are my furniture guards.
Try catnip and other distractions. I have seen some great ideas in the www.marthastewart.com web site under "Keeping", "Pet Keeping". You can do a search and check out some of the ideas there.
Good luck. I'm sure things will work out.