QUIRKY QUOTES......
>
> These were sent to me with no credit given to who said them
> but they are really good ones!!! My apologies to the authors.....
>
> "I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There
> was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired
> myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise.
> I paid myself. Then I quit."
>
> "I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here,
> Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move
> at all."
>
> "I have a map of the United States, life size. 1 mile equals
> 1 mile. It's sure is hard to fold."
>
> "Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time.
> I think I've forgotten this before."
>
> "In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything.
> Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday,
> I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out."
>
> "My girlfriend asked me if I slept well. I said no, I made
> a couple mistakes."
>
> "I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint.
> It was in the shape of a house."
>
> "The other day I was in a WalMart. I saw a sign that said
> "pet supplies". So I did.
> Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars,"
> but I didn't."
>
> "I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what
> it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and
> I say, "I think I might have written that."
>
> "I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer
> thinks he can get me three to five."
>
>FRIVOLOUS FILLERS.....
>
> "I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance,
> waiting to get into the bathroom."-- Bob Hope--
> ~~~~~~
> Spouse [noun]; A person who will stand by you through
> all of the trouble that you wouldn't have had if you had
> stayed single.
> ~~~~~~
> You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always
> say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say,
> "No, it's for company!"
> ~~~~~~
> Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out,
> but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of
> chocolate cake.
> ~~~~~~
> Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize
> you haven't fallen asleep yet.
> ~~~~~~
> Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people
> will ever have.
> ~~~~~~
> Never do card tricks for the guys you play poker with.
> ~~~~~~
> The "Perfect Man" is Mr. Potato Head... He's tan. He's cute.
> And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face.
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>