I have actually made boys fill this out for my daughter. LOL, it was so funny!!!


Feel free to print this out for your own personal use!


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Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history,
lineage, and current medical report from your physician.

Name:________________________ Date of Birth:_________________
Height:_________ Weight:__________ IQ:_________ GPA:__________
Social Security #:___________ Driver's License #: Number:_______
Boy Scout Rank:_________________ Telephone:___________________
Home Address:__________________________________________ ____
City:__________________________ State:__________ Zip:___________

1. Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:

2. Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers or sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____

3. Do you own or have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____

4. Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____

5. Do you have a tattoo? ____

If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue
application and leave immediately.

6. In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?

7. In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter
mean to you?

8. In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?

9. In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?

10. Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________
How often do you attend: ____________________________

11. When would be the best time to interview your mother, father
and priest/rabbi?__________________________

12. Please fill in the blanks:

a. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want
wounded would be my ____________________________


b. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would
be my_____________________________

c. A woman's place is in the ____________________________


d. The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is
______________________________

e. When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her
first is______________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave
premises--keeping your head low and running in a serpentine
fashion is advised.

13. What do you want to be if you grow up?



I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of
my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment,
torture or mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________
Signature of father _____________________________________
Signature of mother ____________________________________
Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________
Signature of State Representative _________________________


Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual.

Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in
writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't
call me, I'll call you.