This is just the beginning of a story I wrote this morning. I'm not sure if i'm going to continue or not.
Written Dec. 1st, 2oo3 @ 7:00 AM.
There's many times at night when i'm at rest in my bed, I awaken myself with tears rolling down my face, as my eyes fill quickly. Tears that only my words can explain, and even if you were to read them i'm not sure if you'd be able to comprehend. My memories of true black, dreary nights -- when the whole family would fight.
I'm a simple child, with a simple life, simple fears, and emotions like all teenage girls have. All i've ever wanted was to be loved by him, to be loved by her. Oh, they say the love me, but there's those moments when I look into their eyes and all I see is sickening and pity pupils looking back at me.
I've never smoked, i've never done drugs, i've never caused trouble or harm purposely. Yet, I am treated like some sort of convict. I've never tried to hurt myself or anyone else for that matter. Visions of doing such harm to myself have passed through my mind, but that's all they were.
There's a few things in life that keep me alive. A few things that make me lift my head up and hope to keep it high.
Those few things are creatures themselves; simple creatures, with emotions and feelings. They're willing to spend every moment with me, whether it be joyful or full of soggy salty tears.
They're the reasons I do have those joyful moments, yet at the same time my love is so deep that it brings me into tears.
Their names are Abmis & Narla.
Abmis is starting to slow down in his older ages. He's only around Six years old, but you can tell he's getting there. I've had him since I was in fifth grade. Now, i'm in tenth. He's seen most of what i've seen through the years, as he's always been by my side. Sometimes I wonder. I wonder if he has the same thoughts I do, and if he wonders why everyone's yelling.
Narla is just a young pup. We rescued her just this year, when she was a tiny 8 weeks old. She's now a huge 9 months old, almost a year, and towers over Abmis. She tries to act as if she's a big bad dog, but really all she wants to do is cuddle in bed. She'd cuddle up in bed with you any day, all day, as long as she has enough room to stretch her long body, and her long legs.
She doesn't quite know what's going on, but i'm not sure I know anymore either.
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