My heart is breaking for you. When Leroy was gone I felt so helpless. I did everything a person could do to find him but it still didn't seem like enough. I so understand what you mean when you said you would rather know the bad then not ever know what happened to him. I felt the same way. Bad dreams and bad thoughts. I worried myself sick. I have said lots of prayers for Mystic's return today and I will continue to do so. Don't give up hope yet. Kitties can do some amazing things. Hang in there and know that we are all praying for Mystic to come home and (God forbid) that if something happened then you will find out so you will at least know. I remember the three days of Leroy so well. I can't imagine five days, a sick child, car trouble, a birthday coming, and crappy weather to boot!!! Extra big hugs!!!
{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}