Thanks again everyone! I have plugged the Feliway diffuser in, so we will see how that helps!

I have tried catnip - Ally quite likes to eat it, so I'll give her some tonight and see if it helps.

I don't think it's a problem with sharing anything specific - just the whole house in general Ally has her own bed(s); food and water bowls and litter box, I have tried not to make her "give up" any of her special things - for instance there is a chair with a fluffy cushion and a great view of the birdies, where she always naps during the day, but Connor also fancies the same spot, so I bought another chair and identical cushion, and placed it a bit further along the window. She also still lies on my lap, whilst Connor will normally lie next to me, as he can't seem to get comfortable on my lap! Things have been quieter so far today, although there is still plenty of time for trouble before bedtime!

If the feliway doesn't work the vet wants to try Hormone injections. I haven't been able to find much about this on the net - have any of you tried this?

(((HUGS))) to you all for all the support - you are keeping me sane at the moment.