I need a double. No, a triple.
Today, I got up at dawn and braved the mall. The Day After Thanksgiving Sales. And, I'm in a pissy mood about it by now and I've nothing nice to say. I entered through this lower end department store. Let me tell you, there is nothing in the world like it. A bunch of cheap crap looks like cheap crap ona good day. But go in at 7 am to watch hundreds of huge wild women with uncombed hair wearing sweat pants and leggings fight over the last cheap item on sale ----- it's just enough to make me want a drink.

Then, I WAS FARTED ON. Yes, farted on. Standing at the Marshall Field's Shoe dept beside an elderly lady. She smelled really good and I was just about to comment on her perfume. Then she turned to walk away and accidentally let a huge one go. Did she keep going. No. She said "woa now better back it up." then she proceeded to fart 6 more times. She was neither quiet nor shy about it.

So, since I was farted on at the altar of shoe, I felt that I deserved a ttrip to the MAC counter for a mini makeover and I also had earned a new hat.

ahhhh.