I can totally relate to every post here. When I brought my second cat, Miko (2yr fem.), home in early January, it was a very bad scene for several weeks. First cat Saima (3yr fem.) absolutely HATED Miko and would hiss and growl every time Miko came within her field of vision. Miko was calm and friendly toward Saima, but would have to defend herself (and sometimes retaliate) if Saima ever pounced on her. I kept on hoping and praying that they'd become friends and snuggling buddies, but for a while Saima just couldn't tolerate this new cat at all. If I was cuddling and petting Saima and Miko came up to join us, Saima would frown and leave the room (no matter how much I begged her to stay!). Fortunately Saima never lost her appetite and made pretty darn sure she got her share of food. I gave each of the cats as much individual attention and love as I could, playing with them and talking to them, trying to reassure them.

Let me tell you that I really do believe that time and patience is the key in these situations. That is theme of most of the posts here on this topic. I know it's very true that some cats may never get along. It just depends on their personalities and histories. But I have seen so much progress between my own cats and I can honestly say that Saima is slowly warming up to Miko. Fights break out much less often, and any chasing by one cat of the other looks a lot more like "play" than it ever has. Both cats can now sit with me at the same time and they can usually look at each other without hostility. I have recently seen Saima ALMOST let Miko groom her (Saima was sleepy at the time ). And many times they have approached each other for what looks like a friendly sniff-each-other's-noses greeting. We're still not quite there yet, but I think as time goes by, Saima and Miko can only grow closer. I do forsee the day when they will bond and be friends for life. I can't wait until that day!

I wish you luck, Khoiho, and I hope Miuccia will eventually accept Xander. Just hang in there and hope for the best! Happy, peaceful days may still be ahead!