I just read through all the posts on this topic and I thought they were all hilarious. I talk to my cats all the time. Here is an example of my silly behavior
When I play "chase" with my cat Saima in my apartment, and she takes off in a run, I always say to her, "You come back here! I'm going to get you! You can't run away from me!" in a mock-threatening, evil villain voice. Then when I "get" her, I pick her up and give her smooches all over her face (she purrs and purrs). I know she loves it!
Also, when Saima and my second cat, Miko, start slapping paws at each other I shake my finger at each of them and say, "Stop that! Now you be nice!"
As if they listen!