So sorry to hear all this. I know your dad is having a rough time and now this. To me, it sounds like putting your grandpa in elderly care place would be best for him. That is, if you can afford it. Does he have any insurance to help with payments? One of my best friends lost her mother today and she's got a brother like yours. He didn't even want to give her a decent burial. I just don't understand people. Hope things get better for you.