Thursday # 25 - Can't we all just get along??

[catland]

Don't worry Richard, we'll sneak behind the bar and fix our own drinks since you are busy. But please leave the barternder's manual - I can't remember all of the drink combinations

Joke time:
You are one of *two* people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute. How would you react?

Bureaucrat: you order them to conduct a feasibility study on parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under code red conditions.

Lawyer: you charge one parachute for helping them sue the airline.

Internal Revenue Service: you confiscate the parachute along with their luggage, wallet, and gold fillings.

Economics: you plot a demand curve by asking them, at regular intervals, how much they would pay for a parachute.

Psychoanalysis: you ask them what the shape of a parachute reminds them of.

Republican: as you jump out with the parachute, you tell them to work hard and not expect handouts.

Democrat: you ask them for a dollar to buy scissors so you can cut the parachute into two equal pieces.

Libertarian: after reminding them of their constitutional right to have a parachute, you take it and jump out.

Sports Fan: you start betting on how long it will take to crash.

Association of Tobacco Growers: you explain very patiently that despite a number of remarkable coincidences, studies have shown no link whatsoever between airplane crashes and death.