Luckies4me,

No adult child expects to be the caretaker of their parent or parents. But it's a fact of life that's happening more and more.

I was 44 when I began caring for my elderly, alcoholic father. He was 68 at the time and a retired photographer. Before then I didn't have to worry about him because I had my stepmother to watch out for him. She passed away and his health and whole outlook on life went down hill from then on.

To say it was the worst 2 1/2 years of my entire life is putting it mildly. I'd do it again in a heartbeat, because he was my Dad and I loved him with all my heart. I was the only one in my family who hadn't abandoned him. I have an older brother that didn't help me out at all. He hadn't talked to him in over 15 years and didn't want to hear anything about him, how he was doing, etc.

My father was found dead in his apartment 2 months before his 70th birthday. I was all alone in paying off all his bills (he didn't have insurance) as well as cleaning out his apartment. It's something I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Stay close to your siblings. Ask for their help if it gets to be too much for you. You won't be good for anyone if you don't take care of yourself. I came THIS close to winding up in a hospital from depression and exhaustion after the whole ordeal. Fortunately I had a great doctor and wonderful friends who got me through the worst of it (not to mention my dear sweet Divine Miss "M", Mollie Rose, my cat).

Hang in there. And above all, take care of yourself, okay???