do not attempt to debunk these stories......I'll sue!!!!



Suing for an A+

MEMPHIS, Mich. - A case where credit was not given where it was due has a high school senior suing his school. In order to bolster his chance at becoming valedictorian of his class, Brian Delekta is demanding that educators change the grade for his work-experience class from an A to an A+. The plaintiff worked as a paralegal in his mother's law office, where she says her son fulfilled the district's work program requirements and performed professionally at work. If the grade is not changed, Delekta might not become valedictorian and will always be remembered as the nerd who sued his school for an A+.





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Osama bin Laden Haircut Results in Lawsuit

HONG KONG, China - A woman hoping for Julia Roberts hair entered a salon in Hong Kong and came out looking like Osama bin Laden. At least that is what she claimed. In an attempt to sue the salon for compensation, Chu Ieu said in court that not only did she not end up with hair like Roberts, but "It was like a broom. It was horrible. I looked like Osama bin Laden." Adjudicator Yuen Chun-kau dismissed the case. He told the woman, "You've only shown the court that the hairstyle did not look good." Exasperated, Ieu claimed the judge's indifference was because he was bald. She refused to leave the courtroom and had to be taken away by ambulance after an hour-long standoff.



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High School Student Sues to Graduate

An Arizona high school student walked across the stage to receive her diploma last month, despite the fact that she failed her senior English class. How did this happen, you ask? Her parents threatened to sue the school if she didn't graduate. In the letter prepared by the parents' lawyer, was this friendly reminder to the teacher... "Of course, all information regarding your background, your employment records, all of your class records, past and present, dealings with this and other students becomes relevant, should litigation be necessary." In response to this the school allowed the girl in question to retake her final five hours before graduation, even while other failing students were registering for Summer school.

And then...

WHITING, Ind. - Officials at Whiting High School refused to give the senior class salutatorian her diploma after she deviated from her prepared speech and gave teachers frivolous awards during the ceremony. Caitlin Mills-Groninger, 18, presented her approved speech asking her classmates to denounce discrimination and build a civil society. She then took a lighter tone as she called 13 teachers by name and presented them with fanciful awards like "Trapped in the 80s," and "Pain in the Asymptote." School administrators didn't appreciate it. They pulled her diploma pending disciplinary action.


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Quadriplegic Sues for Strip Club Access

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. - A quadriplegic has filed suit against a strip club - because he can't get his wheelchair into it's lap-dancing room. The suit said that while other patrons enjoy lap dances in the privacy of the special room, his have to take place in public. His lawyer, who brought the suit under the Americans with Disabilities Act, also charges that the stage where strippers gyrate for tips is too high for his client to view from his wheelchair.



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Lawyer Sued for Spanking Client

CONNECTICUT - A client sued her lawyer in 1999 for emotional distress after he spanked her bare buttocks, but the claim has been rejected. The woman's lawyer claimed he put her over his knee to stop her from fidgeting before appearing in court so her testimony would appear to be more believable. Then he claimed he didn't have any assets, so the woman proceeded to sue his insurance company with whom he had a malpractice policy for $250,000. American Home insurance company refused to pay out, saying that "The perverted act of intentionally fondling the bare bottoms of female clients cannot and is not part of the practice of law." The Connecticut Law Tribune said the whole thing "is certain to make the legal system the butt of more jokes."