Foam,
I hope you don't leave, and I most certainly hope you don't do anything silly to yourself. Your first post concerned me. You sound pretty down right now, and things probably seem very bad, but, things change. People change. Sometimes the very thing you need in your life is right around the corner. If you are so deep in your misery that you can't see the good that I know must be around you, then, please talk to someone that cares about you. There is alot to be said for a good long cry, a nice hot shower,and a good night's sleep....please keep talking to someone