I think these have been posted before, but still funny:

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - Al Gore, VP

" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
another" - George Bush, US President

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
the country," - Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," - Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.