I'm so sorry you are going through this, I know how hard it can be.

Years ago I when through that with my Tigger. He ended up having what we now call his sex change operation. Boy boy was shaped like a female after, but it worked out great, never a problem after that.

I got to be a pro at reading the back of cat food....checking for low magnesium/ash of 6.0 or less. I think I must have read every brand of cat food out at the time looking for just the right food. Poor guy had to give up his seafood. I did cut out all dry food, that seem to always have a higher magnesium/ash content.

Has your vet talked to you about surgery at all? I know it's the last thing anyone wants to do, but I know it saved my Tigger. Being shaped like a female made it eaiser to pass the crystals if they did develop again. (although some female cats get it to, it is less likely for them)

I only say this because I know in some cats it can be genetics more then their diet. This was the case for my Tigger, we belived and with the right diet and the surgery it really worked out well.

Good luck to you and Phoenix. I know it will be fine soon. Stay strong.