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Thread: Idea for a story

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  1. 08-13-2003, 09:17 PM #1
    Aspen and Misty's Avatar
    Aspen and Misty
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    Sounds good so far

    One suggestion--- It seems odd that he is instantly great and then all fo the sudden he is really really sick, you might want to put that although he isn't feel well today he still deced to go swimming. That way ti states that he isn't feeling well that day.

    Sorry to be a pain


    Ash
    Last edited by Aspen and Misty; 08-14-2003 at 02:14 AM.
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