Hi,

Bella is pretty much the same. slightly more front paw movement, and I'm sure I felt a pushback from one of her back legs when I did her physio this afternoon. we go back to the vet tomorrow, so will have more news then. She can't stand for me to leave her. I had to go out today, and left her with my teenage daughter, who often looks after her. She cried when I was gone, and was a mess when I got back, crying and shaking. I guess she is really scared. I got her as a 5 year od. Her original owner died, and she went to a breeder. They were lovely people, but she was so unhappy. When I got her she was quite neurotic, and we had come so far.

I have been doing a lot of soul-searching. I want to make sure in my heart that I am acting out of concern for her, not selfishness. She watches me with her beautiful brown eyes, but they are sad. She enjoys food, a cuddle, a walk (carry) round the yard. She closes her eyes in bliss when I scratch her ears. But I think she is frightened. It is such an awesome thing to look after a totally dependent creature. I have to guess when she is thirsty, hungry, uncomfortable. I'm so scared I am getting it wrong and making her miserable.

I think so long as she is showing improvement, it is worth carrying on. When she was pregnant, no-one suspected (the breeders let her go because she was infertile!), and she told me one day - she really needed me to know. So I think that if it is all too much for her, she will find a way of telling me. She isn't in pain, apart from her stiff neck, which will get better, so that is one thing. She is incontinent - just overflows. I have her on a towel on top of a waterproof sheet on top of a thinnish foam pad, so it is all quite easy to clean up, but I am always afraid her skin will get sore. I give her a good sponge everyday to clean stale urine etc from her coat.

I'll post an update when we have seen the vet. Thanks for caring.

Alison