As long as YOU know you are doing what is best for Lily, who cares what anyone else thinks?

You know in your heart what is the right thing to do / the right way to care for and protect them etc.

I have also learned the hard way to be VERY discerning about who I discuss Ally with. People who do not have the same "mindset" about cats can be very cruel without intending to.

My Mum doesn't even talk about Ally, unless I bring her up, but my Mum-In-Law closes all her emails with "Give Ally-Cat a big kiss from Grannie"

I think Lily will be very lucky to have a caring Meowmie like you!