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Thread: Does she ALWAYS have to do this!!!!

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    59
    I would have a sit-down with her and very calmly point out what she has been doing, how it affects you, and ask that she not do it anymore. Explain that unless she has specific advice about how you might solve a specific behaviour problem (or, rather, *perceived* behaviour problem), it's not helpful to constantly criticize, as only creates bad feeling. If she has simply not been aware of how she is coming across, she might become more aware and careful of what she says in future. But if she just wants to constantly criticize... well....

    I always deal with chronic complainers and criticizers this way: Ask your sister what she thinks you should do in response to her criticisms. If she says you should train him better, insist that she give you specific training advice. If she tells you to get a professional trainer for him, ask if she is willing to provide the money for that such training, since you can't afford it right now. If she says she doesn't think that the dog is trainable, ask if she thinks you should have the dog put down or give him away. Ask what she's willing to do to help you find him another home, and a new dog to replace him, one more in line with her idea of a "good" dog. Ask if she'd be willing to accompany you to the vet's and watch him be put down, and if she would be willing to pay the vet's fee, etc.

    In other words, always turn the criticism back on the critic. Once she realizes every criticism will result in some demand on HER time, energy, money, etc., she might be less inclined to open her mouth. If she answers all of the above questions with "it's not my problem", then repeatedly ask her what the point of the criticism is. Tell her since she's not willing to help find a solution to the problem she is criticizing, you can only conclude that she just wants to be a bitch. Then tell her to shut the hell up.
    Last edited by QueenVee; 07-18-2003 at 12:04 PM.

    Henry the Harrier Hound Says
    " Resistance is Futile "
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