Also just use a common everyday voice. This was key yo getting Millie to trust us and it never reinforced any unwanted behavior. We think a baby voice or a really soft voice will calm them down, but it reinforces behavior. Use a normal everyday talking tone, just a tad slower and calmer. Our behavior taught us this and Millie responded to it pretty quickly. We still use it in stressful situations. Also, try to let him get used to you first and when he trusts you, then you allow your husband in. All the while using the calm, but normal voice, telling James that everything's ok. Took a bit of time with Millie, but she's great now. Good luck!!