Thank you so much for your note because what you describe is EXACTLY the dynamic going on at my house....although in the early am before Izzy goes back under the bed (she comes out most evenings and stays out until I get up) if I approach her slowly she will let me pet her and then she flops over for belly rubs and purrs so she really is coming along. I will do some reading about feral kitties because what you described about feeling badly about how the kitty is feeling is what is the hardest for me ...it just breaks my heart that she lives with fear :-( so I think the info you recommend will help "mommy" feel better at least....And your note touched me for another reason. The kitty I had before these two I had for 19years and adored her ...I had to put her to sleep about a year and a half ago...well anyway, her name was Jesabel and I called her Jessie!!!...how's that for kindred kitty spirits