Cute Captain

We Must Stop This Immediately!
>
>
> Have you ever noticed that when you're of a
> certain age, everything seems uphill from where you
> are? Stairs are steeper. Groceries are heavier. And,
> everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to
> the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how
> long our street had become!
>
> And, you know, people are less considerate now,
> especially the young ones. They speak in whispers
> all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just
> keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the
> same silent message until they're red in the face!
> What do they think I am, a lip reader?
>
> I also think they are much younger than I was at
> the same age. On the other hand, people my own age
> are so much older than I am. I ran into an old
> friend the other day and she has aged so much that
> she didn't even recognize me.
>
> I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was
> combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I
> glanced at my own refection........Well, REALLY NOW.
> Even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
>
> Another thing, everyone drives so fast today!
> You're risking life and limb if you just happen to
> pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can
> say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the
> way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view
> mirror.
>
> Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these
> days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a
> size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no
> one notices that these things no longer fit around
> the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?
>
> The people who make bathroom scales are pulling
> the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I
> actually "believe" the number I see on that dial?
> HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just
> who do these people think they're fooling?
>
> I'd like to call up someone in authority to report
> what's going on -- but the telephone company is in
> on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone
> books in such small type that no one could ever find
> a number in here!
>
> All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity
> is under attack! Unless something drastic happens,
> pretty soon "everyone" will have to suffer these
> awful indignities.
>
> PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON
> AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
>
> PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font
> size, because something has caused fonts to be
> smaller than they once were too!
> Dorothy