Karen (wolflady),

My yellow lab died just before I got married too...It was actually a blessing when he died because of a a couple reasons. First of all, I always promised Beener that I would be there for him until the very end, and I am good with my promises. He was "my dog" for all of my teen years, and he was there to help me through those rough years with a waggie tail and love filled eyes. When my husband and I decided to get married in Jamaica and roll our wedding and honeymoon together I would be gone for 2 weeks. About 3 weeks before we left for Jamaica for the two weeks to get married, Beener stopped eating and his bones began to show. I knew something was wrong with him but I had no idea he would get so sick so soon. I took him to the vet right away. It was bad. His whole stomach was filled with some huge massses. The vet tried a couple of medications, and Beener just could not keep anything in. Then he stopped drinking water about 2 weeks before I left for Jamaica. I took him back to the vet for any "miracle news" and the vet told me that he thinks Beener should "go to sleep" because the stuff in his stomach had spread so much and he was too old/weak/proud for major surgery and then chemo. I had the vet come to my house 4 days later. About a week and 1/2 before I left for Jamaica. He put Beener to sleep in our living room while he layed on a massive pile of pillows and blankies.

It was a blessing that he decided to get severly ill before I left for Jamaica, otherwise I would have never forgave myself for either waiting until he was in pain when I got home from my wedding or having someone else put him to sleep and me missing being with him in his last moments. I think he knew that he had to "give up on life" before I left for Jamaica. He was so smart and kind.

The other blessing about his passing was that shortly after he breathed his last breath I felt my first feeling of a spirit being lifted out of it's shell. I was holding Beener when all of a sudden I felt this AMAZING spirit start circling around me. I was sobbing so hard but this beautiful spirit that began to circle faster and faster around me lifted my sorrow away. It was so playful and light and happy. It was Beener in his original state. It actually made me smile when he did that. Here I was, holding my lifeless dog and I had a little smile on my tear stained face. The vet was still there when it happened but he did not feel it, nor did my family who had to leave the room while Beener was being put to sleep. It was him thanking me for being there with him, and for being his friend. It was a blessing.

Just thought I'd share that with you. I posted it awhile ago but you probably did not see it.