Ashley, It is a very tough thing, doing what is right, but what is hard. Ashton could not tell you in words that he was hurting, you needed to know that in your heart. And because of the love you had for him your heart told you what you needed to do. Unfortunately, that often breaks your heart. This causes you to doubt. I know I had my doubts when placed in your situation, but as time helps to heal the sorrow it will also reasure you that you DID do the right thing. Feel no embarrassment at showing your grief and know that as time goes by, you WILL be able to remember all the special times and the pain won't feel quite so bad.
I am truely sorry for your loss.
Jen