Oh you poor dear. This incident had to be so heartbreaking for you. We have all come to know you so well in a short time and know what a cautious and conscientious person you are, but we are all human and humans make mistakes. I know how you must be grieving for your kitty and for how he died, but you have to put this behind you. Like Daisy said, Go hug Ricky, and remember he needs you not to be depressed.